Self Care Sunday 21st January

This week was one of those hectic weeks that quite often lead to me neglecting myself. Work was extra busy this week with government returns to process, a training day and about a dozen meetings. All on top of my normal workload. I also had to commit some time to my studies this week. My assignments are due to be submitted in a couple of weeks and I have three 5000 word essays to complete. When will I learn not to leave these things until the last minute.

Anyway I promised myself this year I would make self-care a priority, even during the busiest times at work.

I started the week off with an early night. I do love the dark Winter nights, it is the perfect excuse to get into my pjs, pop on a face mask and get into bed to watch TV or read something lighthearted such as this book, which is one of those great little inspirational books that you can dip in and out of. Each page has a different quote to inspire you. The book is available at Amazon. I try to do this at least once a week and get to sleep before 10.30pm. If I’m not feeling particularly sleepy I swear by Sleeptherapy pillow sprays from Avon, I have used them for years.

Also on Monday I started the new Bodycoach 90 Day Plan after being offered it for free. Joe Wickes has kindly offered all of those people who competed and graduated from his first plan the opportunity to do his second personalised plan free of charge. Of course I jumped at the chance. I had great success on the first plan back in 2916, losing one and half stone and dropping two dress sizes. I have since put on half a stone and am back to a size 10/12 due to not being able to exercise for the last 5 months following an injury to my foot. I started the workouts on Tuesday morning and really felt the pain later in the day. It’s been a bit of a struggle getting up and down the stairs all week but it has been a while since I did this level of exercise.

The first half of the week was a little challenging at work. I had to deal with a couple of staff issues which saw me having to reprimand a couple of members of staff. Not something that comes easily to me but it’s part and parcel of being a senior manager. I was pretty stressed out and feeling very low when I got home from work Tuesday and Wednesday. I’m lucky that my husband is great at looking after me when I feel down and he took over cooking dinner while I treated myself to a luxurious shower with another product from my monthly Birchbox.

I have to say I don’t think I have ever used such a lush shower gel. It is so creamy and smells divine. My skin felt so silky afterwards. One word of advice if you go and get this product is you only need a tiny amount. It comes out of the pump as a clear gel but as soon as you rub it in it turns to a gorgeous creamy foam. You can purchase this Shower Foam at www.rituals.com

Thursday was a long day at work. It was Spring Census Day. It is the day that all schools have to produce various governments returns and each school has a specific time to run their report and there are always errors and queries to resolve before it can be submitted to the Department of Education. The return is used to formulate some of our funding so it is really important that the data is correct. After such a busy day I didn’t feel like cooking so my husband took me to one of our local pubs for dinner. It was freezing cold so I took the opportunity to wear my favourite big cosy jumper from Next. This really is a fabulous knit at a very reasonable price. Unfortunately it is no longer available online but I have seen it in store in other colours.

Because I had been really good with my diet all week and I had stuck to the no sugar, reduced caffeine rule of the 90 Day Plan all week I decided to have a little Friday night treat. I used the Black Forest Hot Chocolate powder that was in my Christmas stocking, for the first time. It was an interesting flavour and if you are looking for a hot drink which is a little different then it might be worth a try. I can’t find the powder available to buy at the moment, it may a Christmas product but you can purchase Black Forest syrup at Amazon.

My Friday night treat set me up nicely for the weekend. Saturday morning was taken up with normal weekly chores of cleaning and ironing. Normally on a Saturday evening we would either pop to our local pub for a drink or have a Netflix and takeaway night. This week we had arranged to drive across Kent to meet up with my husband’s Sister and Brother-in-Law. We hadn’t seen them since last Summer. We both have busy lives, full time jobs, kids and houses that we are renovating, so we only ever seem to catch up at family gatherings. This time we met up at a lovely country pub in Westerham It was the first time the four of us had been out without kids in tow and we had a really great time. If you are ever in this area check out the Aperfield Inn. Very cosy, amazing food and fantastic customer service. We all enjoyed ourselves so much we are planning to do it again soon.

Sunday is my favourite day of the week. It always has been. When my husband and I were first dating, we would have every other Sunday to ourselves because my children would be at their dads for the weekend. We used to make the most of it by having a lazy day. We would stay in bed all morning, reading the newspapers, eating bacon sandwiches and drinking coffee. The afternoons would have been spent on the sofa watching a movie while a roast dinner cooked.

Today we did much the same, minus the newspapers as they just make me angry now. But we stayed in bed late drinking coffee. Then instead of cooking bacon sandwiches at home we wrapped up warm and walked to the Marina in the sleety snow, stopping at the old fashioned river side cafe for a cooked breakfast.

On the walk home we stopped at the Co-op in our Village square for roast dinner ingredients. The rest of the day will be spent on the sofa under the blanket. Hubby watching movies while I catch up with social media, write a couple of blog posts and indulge in some online shopping, I wont be buying anything exciting… just food and toiletries.

So there goes another hectic week. The week ahead should be a little calmer at work, but I have a lot of studying to catch up on so I’m still going to be busy. I will still make sure that I fit in a little self-care though as I am finding that I really look forward to it now. It is slowly becoming part of my daily routine.

I hope you have had a good week and don’t forget to make some time for the things that bring you joy.

Thank you for reading.

Melanie xxxx

Self Care Sunday 14th January

How is it already the end of the second week of January. Last Monday I went back to work after just over two weeks off. I struggled to get out of bed and I really didn’t feel ready to face a new term at School. My brain didn’t really function properly and it felt very strange to be back in work clothes and heels. After what felt like I very long day on Monday all I wanted to do was crawl into bed with my hot water bottle and a cup of tea. I have to admit to feeling a little low and had not planned any self-care activity for the evening. But my mood was lifted when I walked through the front door after work and found January’s Birchbox had arrived. It was just what I needed.

I have only been receiving the monthly beauty box since November when I received a one Year subscription for my birthday. I am trying to make the effort to use the products as part of my self-care routine and to give myself a little treat with new products that I would not normally purchase myself.

I opened the pretty flamingo box after my shower and immediately used the Restorative Night Cream. My skin is not looking great at the moment, too much sugar and alcohol over Christmas combined with late nights and a cold/sinus infection has left it looking very red, dry and dull. It says it is the ideal boost for tired skin, so it is a treat rather than one I would use every day. But I tried it every day this week. I’m not sure if it made a difference. My skin did feel a little more hydrated but I had a break-out of spots which could be due to the cream. I am going to keep using it for another week to see if the condition of my skin improves.

On Wednesday I tried some of the new make up that was in this box and last months box. I always wear the same make up because it is just quick and easy in the mornings to just go with what I know works. I don’t have time to test out new products or shades and then risk having to either go to work unhappy with how I look or having to remove make up and start again. But this time I decided to spend a little extra time on my make up and try something new. I was really pleased with the result and I had several comments about my new look at work.

To create this new look I first used the Lord & Berry Blusher Pencil. I received the peach shade and I was pleasantly surprised. I don’t normally wear a blusher because a) I always feel I look a little like Aunt Sally and b) I’m too lazy. This blusher is very easy to use. It blended into my skin well and it left my cheeks with am subtle rosy glow, which I really loved. It made me look a little healthier. I may now be a blusher convert.

Next I used the Marcelle Charcoal eyeliner. Most days I wear a Navy eyeliner as it works well with the colour of my eyes. I tend to wear black eyeliner on a night out but it can be a little harsh on me. So I figured that the charcoal may be somewhere in between. I can’t describe how much I loved this eyeliner. It gave a smokey look to my eyes and made them look really different. I will definitely be using this again.

Finally I used the Pixi by Petra Shea Butter Lip Balm. I opted for the nude colour and it was actually a little more tinted than I expected. This was ok but I would have preferred no tint. I would still use this product though as it really moisturised my lips which are incredibly dry at the moment.

Whilst I was in the beauty treat mood this week I also used a couple of items from previous months Birchboxes. Tuesday was the turn of the Kebelo Clarifying Shampoo. This is meant to be used as a monthly treat to cleanse and rejuvenate hair. My hair re-colour is due in a couple of weeks and it is about this time that my hair starts to feel dry and look really dull. Immediately after using the clarifying shampoo my hair actually felt squeaky clean. And I really mean that when I say squeaky. It was a very strange feeling. I don’t think my hair had ever felt so cleansed. I used my normal conditioner, which is a inexpensive one from Aldi. Later that evening when my hair had dried naturally it felt so soft and silky. I didn’t have to use any styling products or straighteners on my hair the next morning it just fell into place and was lovely and “swingy”. I couldn’t stop touching my hair all day. This shampoo really worked well on my hair and definitely gets five stars.

A couple of days later I decided to use another new hair product. Sugar Texturising Spray by Number 4 (High Performance Hair Care). My hair is very thick but fine. It never has much body and I struggle to get it to hold a style. In the past I have used Seasalt Spray to gain some texture on my layered hair, which is great for those in-between washing days. I thought the sugar Spray would be much the same. But no it was better. I put a slight curl in my hair at the front and side using my Babylis wand and then applied the spray. Usually by lunchtime any style I have done will have dropped out. But not this time, the curl and the texture remained until I got home in the evening. I loved how my hair looked. I may even buy a full sized version of this product purely because it is the first styling product that has actually worked on my hair. You can buy it here at Birchbox.

It was a hectic week at work and on Friday the husband and I decided to pop to our local pub for a couple of drinks. Unfortunately it now turns out that I am allergic to their new puppy. I woke during the night struggling to breathe with blocked sinuses. Fortunately I had my new Aromatherapy Oil Diffuser (featured on my last blog post) to hand and a morning of Eucalyptus Oil misting into the air helped clear my sinuses. By Saturday evening I was feeling much better.

If you read my post last Sunday you will know that my husband and I are using a “self-care jar” this year to make sure we spend quality time together each week. This week we randomly picked out “Movie Night”. So Saturday night comprised a takeaway, prosecco, a box of Maltesers and the movie 9/11 on Sky Cinema.

Today saw the arrival of new book. (all hail Amazon Sunday deliveries). I had been waiting for this book, Happy by Fearne Cotton, for two weeks. I ordered this to compliment The Happy Journal which I received for Christmas. So as you can imagine I am eager to start reading it. I will find the time thus evening to curl up in the sofa for an hour of reading before heading off to the bedroom to watch McMafia on the TV.

Happy by Fearne Cotton currently £3.99 at AmazonSo this week’s self-care revolved around beauty treatments and actually using those products I receive each month in my beauty box subscription. It has really helped give me a boost during my first week back at work. Next week is going to be all about Health & Fitness after a lovely surprise I received last week. All will be revealed on my Instagram account throughout the week and on the blog next Sunday.

Thank you for reading and I hope you managed to find some time for a little self-care this week.

Melanie xxxx

Rubies in the Rubble


Recently I have struggled to find the joy in life. I feel like I have been just going through the motions of Get up. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. I have been feeling so tired that even when I’m not working I can’t find the enthusiasm for the things I usually enjoy. 

Some of this is due to work pressures and some will be a result of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have lost my Instagram mojo (and been subjected to a little bit of trolling). TV doesn’t hold my attention and I can’t concentrate enough to read a book or a magazine. I am falling asleep every night before 10pm.

I  feel lethargic and out of shape. I need to get back to the gym but I still have some bruising left from my ankle injury and part of me is a little scared in case it hasn’t healed properly. 

I sound like a right moaning Minnie and I know I should just snap out of it but it’s not always that easy to do. I try not to project these feelings onto others so at work I smile and keep myself busy (which is not hard to do) and the rest of the time I hide away from the world. 

On top of all this I’m also feeling old and frumpy. Today I am 47. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to my birthday this year. I am just not in the mood for celebrating. 

My poor husband bares the brunt of all this. But he doesn’t complain and in fact he goes out of the way to look after me and make me feel special. I don’t always appreciate what he does for me. He was away on business this week. Which doesn’t happen very often. I really missed him. Not just because he picks me up from work or does the washing and puts the bins but for all those little things he does so I don’t have to do too much after a long day at work. I realised how much I take him for granted. 

But the extent of his love doesn’t stop there. He goes that extra mile for my birthday. My husband certainly does not have the funds to compete with the Insta-husbands of some people I follow. He can’t afford to buy me designer handbags and shoes, diamonds or £300 Bella Freud jumpers. And that’s fine with me. The presents he buys me are special because they require a lot of thought. They show how much he listens and has paid attention to conversations we have had. 

He took me away last weekend for a night in a hotel just at because he knew I needed to relax and switch off.

He bought me rhe journal that I was talking about after reading an article in a magazine. 

A beauty box subscription that I had mentioned six months ago because he knows I don’t have the disposable income to buy luxury toiletries any more. 

A budget replacement for my old Fitbit after it broke last month and I was devastated that I could not track my steps and sleep anymore.

And a card that made me cry because he said he appreciated me.

Today we are not doing anything extravagant. We are spending the day together doing things I enjoy. My husband took me out for a full English breakfast this morning and he bought my favourite cream cake to have with a cup of tea this afternoon. Tonight we will walk to our local pub and sit and chat over a few beers. 

I may not have much in monetary terms but I have all the things that money just can’t buy.
My husband is my Ruby in the Rubble ❤️


Thank you for reading xxx

Love Melanie xxxx

Be Happy….. Not S.A.D


I have suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder for as long as I can remember but for many years I was totally unaware of what was going on. Like my Mum I have been plagued by mental health issues since my teens. Low Self Esteem, Depression, Anxiety… all to varying degrees of severity. The first time I became truly aware of any problems was when I suffered from Post Natal Depression following the birth of my first child. It was a work colleague who noticed a change in my behaviour and mood, she mentioned it to our company doctor who then called me in for a chat and it all came tumbling out. I was signed off work for 4 weeks and put on anti-depressants. I don’t like taking medication at the best of time, so I didn’t stick with the medication, but just being aware that something was going on helped a little. I felt low for several months but eventually my mojo returned. This cycle of feeling low and then feeling good continued but I really didn’t associate it with the seasons at that time. It is funny now, looking back, because I always used to say my “lucky” time of the year was April to August. This was when life always seemed to deal me the Ace. I met my husband in May and looking at my CV all but one of my successful job interviews have been between April and July. I was totally unaware of the relevance of this until years later.

It was actually about 12 years ago when it became more noticeable. I had a period in my life where I was working in a very stressful environment and my depression became quite bad. I was also suffering from IBS which got worse during the Winter months. I felt physically ill most of the time. For three years in a row I went to my doctor complaining of extreme tiredness, aching limbs, coughs, colds and even recurring tonsillitis. Each time he took full bloods and they came back showing that I was perfectly healthy. I was lucky at the time to still have my family doctor, he had been my mums doctor and had known me since birth so knew my medical history inside out. The third year I went to see him with exactly the same symptoms as the year before he diagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder. Just another form of depression caused by a reduction in Serotonin levels during the months where there is less sunlight. Suddenly everything made sense and I started to see a pattern.

Once I had a diagnosis it made life easier. I am the type of person who researches and tries to find ways that I can help myself overcome issues. I am one of life’s Problem Solvers. I did this for my Seasonal Affective Disorder and tried many different ways to help reduce the severity of the symptoms. Some worked, some didn’t. It has been years of trial and error. And some years are definitely worse than others. But i do think I have finally found a few simple things that help me get through those dark 5 months. For me the onset of my S.A.D is a little like flicking a light switch. I know exactly when it is going to start and end. The day the clocks go back in October is the beginning and the day after the clocks go back in March is the end. Knowing this does help me maintain a little element of positivity during the Winter. Because it doesn’t matter how bad my symptoms are I do know there will be an end date.

If you think you suffer, even just a little bit, I have some tips that may help you. Everyone is different though so they may not work for all of you. But anything is worth a try !! My biggest tip is to plan ahead. I start getting into a routine in September. Particularly with health and fitness and taking of supplements as these need a little time to get into your system.

Get Outside

I know it is hard to find the motivation to get outside when you are feeling low and it is cold, wet and windy. But it really is the best medicine for sufferers of S.A.D. And it is free. 10 mins in the middle of the day is all you need. I was the worlds worst at taking this advice in previous years. I worked in an office in London and hardly ever took a proper lunch break so never ventured outside between the hours of 8am and 6pm. I can honestly say that those years were some of the worst for my mood. Last year I moved out of London and started working in a school. I pop outside every lunchtime to check on lunch staff and what is going on in the playground. I get my 10 mins of daylight every day and despite having a more demanding and stressful job last Winter I suffered far less than I have for many years.

Maintain a Healthy Diet


You will crave sugary and carb laden food. Particularly, if you are feeling low but this is not going to make you feel better. I know from past experiences. I used to eat very differently during Summer and Winter months and cold nights would mean lots of potatoes, pasta, puddings and chocolate. But the extra lbs this added made me feel sluggish and depressed, when my clothes were tight. Now I tend to eat the same all year round. And yes people do think I am a little mad when I rock up to work with a salad for lunch in the middle of December. But all that spinach and raw veg with a tin of tuna keeps my Vitamin D levels topped up and my weight down.

Exercise

When you feel low this is the last thing you want to do. I usually exercise every morning, before work. I find it harder to do this in the Winter months when it is dark and cold when I get up. So I change things around a little. I reduce my morning workouts from five to just two and I add a longer gym visit at the weekend. If I try to maintain the same level of workouts as the Summer months I fail and that feeling of failure fuels my depression and then I end up doing nothing. So It is better to do something than nothing at all. My morning workouts will usually consist of a 15 min HIIT session. They are fast, warm me up and are over and done with quickly. I know I can maintain this. Sometimes if I am having a good week I manage three morning sessions. On a Saturday morning I head to the gym with my husband. We make a morning of it. I will either take a class (box fit or circuits) or spend 30 mins lifting weights and then finish with 5-10 mins on the treadmill. It helps having someone to go with. After the gym we walk into a Village Centre for coffee and breakfast at a lovely little cafe. By doing this it becomes a bit of a treat rather than a chore. And the 10 min walk there and back gets me outside too.

Supplements


Due to having already gone through early menopause there are several supplements I take all year round now. These are the same ones I used to take just in the Winter months and ones that I would recommend if you suffer from S.A.D. Start taking them in September.

Vitamin D – I take mine with Calcium every night to try and protect myself from Osteoporosis but this is honestly the best supplement you can take to help elevate the severity of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Vitamin B12 – I don’t think everyone needs to take this. I think it is more beneficial for women who are also going through the menopause. I only started taking this supplement in the last 12 months and it has been a godsend. It really helps me concentrate and I have more energy and in my job I really can’t afford to be feeling tired.

Magnesium – This is a great supplement if you are struggling to get a good nights sleep. Take about an hour before bedtime. One downside that I find is that Magnesium can dehydrate me. So I always make sure I drink plenty of water during the day and also have a bottle of water on my bedside table to drink first thing in the morning. If you don’t want to take the supplement you can use Epsom Salts (which contain Magnesium) in a hot bath. Soak for about 20 mins for best effect.

Lighting


I have a SAD light that I bought from Argos about 10 years ago. It cost about £50 at the time (similar here). I put it on my dressing table from September through to March. I pop it on in the mornings when I am getting ready for work. I also have a couple of full spectrum Daylight light bulbs that I put in my bedroom and lounge lamps during the Winter (purchased from Amazon). Do they help? I think there are some benefits but only when combined with the other things mentioned above.

Winter Sun


We have not taken our main holiday in the Summer for years now. Most years we take a week long holiday abroad, somewhere sunny, over the Christmas period. I really notice the difference in my symptoms when we have been away. The Algarve is one of our favourite places in the Winter. It is not overcrowded and is warm and sunny during the day and very easy to pick up a bargain if you book a few months in advance.

Be Kind To Yourself

Sometimes the only thing that you can do is give in to the feelings that Seasonal Affective Disorder brings. I am lucky that my husband fully understands my mental health issues and knows that there are times where I just cannot function properly. When that happens he steps away and gives me the space I need to have a day off (I do not like to be fussed over as this produces feelings of guilt which then fuels the depression). He will take over the household chores and the cooking for the day (usually a Sunday) and allow me to just snuggle under the blanket on the sofa and watch movies or box sets all day. There is nothing wrong with this, unless it happens too often. I tend to have one of these days once a month. Maybe twice in January and February, which seem to be my worst months.

Plan Something Fun

I have at least one day/night out already planned and booked for each month between October and March. I have committed myself to socialise with other people and booked something fun to look forward to. I tried this last year but failed miserably. Mainly because last year I booked things to do with my husband. The reason this didn’t work was when the day came I didn’t want to get dressed up and go out of the house. I wanted to hibernate. And because my husband is so lovely. He let me do just that. So you can see why for me this isn’t the way to go. This year I have booked things to do with friends. Now I know that on the day I will still get the feeling of not wanting to go. But because I would never let friends down. I will persevere, get dressed up and go out. And you know what. I will have a fantastic time full of fun and laughter.

I hope you have found some helpful tips above, that you haven’t tried before. And if you have any other tips that work for you please share. I am a big advocate for talking about mental health issues and sharing experiences and would love to hear from anyone who suffers from S.A.D so I can share with other sufferers.

Thank you for reading
Melanie xxx